Stupid Questions
As a runner you get asked silly questions all the time. Some of us have stock answers for these, some of us just nod our heads, and others get engaged in a hearty debate. Whatever our approach and whatever the intent of the person posing the question, we can all agree that these questions are most definitely stupid.
Here are our favourites.
Health Concerns
"Isn't running bad for your knees?"
No, it's not bad for your knees. What is bad for your knees and other joints is not exercising.
One Distance
"Are you training for a marathon?"
Some people are training for a marathon some of the time, some people are training for a marathon none of the time. There's a myth among both runners and non-runners that the ultimate goal of any athlete is to complete a marathon, but it's not true.
What Distance?
"How far is that marathon?"
Well, this one is 26.2 miles, but the one I'm doing next year is going to be a massive 42.2 kilometres.
Special Interest
"Don't you get bored running?"
Nope. Most runners do find treadmill running boring, but we love getting out and having some time to themselves and soaking up the scenery. Lots of runners use the time to catch up on their favourite podcast.
Hard Work
"You ran 10 miles this morning? How long did that take you?"
An innocent enough question, but most non-runners don't understand the concept of an easy run, assuming that we go out running as hard as we can all the time. This means that before answering this question you have to point out that it was just an easy run and you would race much faster etc. and end up looking terribly vain all because of a stupid question.
Feeling Good
"When's your next race?"
Never! I'm injured! *sniff*
Sweet Dreams
"Don't you ever fancy sleeping in?"
What? And miss out on getting back home at 10am and gloating about having completed 15 miles before you've even got out of bed? Never.
What Did You Call Me?
"Are you going for a jog?"
NO! I'm going for a run.
Ow!
"You're injured? How's the cross training going?"
Erm...
Yum!
"Do you eat really healthily?"
Erm...
Be Flexible
"How often do you stretch?"
Erm...
Well-balanced
"How much core work do you do?"
Oh, come on!
Brrr
"Aren't you cold?" (when running in shorts in the winter)
Tights are for sub-20 temperatures. BTFU!
Dry Run
"Do you run in the rain?"
More Health Concerns
"Are you ill?"
No! I'm in perfect race shape. You don't see Mo Farah running round with a beer gut, why should I... I...
Excuse me, I feel a bit faint.
Fashion
"Do you really need that many pairs of running shoes?"
Yes, I do need seven pairs of road shoes, three pairs of racing flats, two types of trail shoes, fell shoes, cross country spikes, middle-distance spikes, long-distance spikes, sprint spikes, cross training shoes, snow shoes, emergency shoes, "bumming around" shoes and "they're falling to pieces, but I ran my first 10k in them" shoes.
Elite
"Could you beat Mo Farah in a race?"
Of course I could. That's why I have thirty finishers' medals hanging from my wall rather than an array of championship golds.
It is acceptable to ask me how my training's going*
* unless I'm injured, in which case: shut up